8 months. It’s been 8 months since my move here to Courtenay on the gorgeous Vancouver Island. In some ways it feels like I’ve been here a much shorter time and in others it feels like I’ve been here forever.
I’ve hit a bit of a dip in my spirits lately. When I first got here everything was magic and newness and adventures. Now, I’ve hit the find a dentist and a family doctor, schedule the car maintenance, figure out a daily routine and get back to work phase. And well, it’s necessary but kinda boring.
I know in my soul that this is the right place for us and the kids are absolutely thriving. In fact, it takes Azalee 10 minutes to leave school everyday because she has to stop and say goodbye and hug each one of the 17 friends in her class plus all of her sister’s friends. Tenesea is bringing schoolwork home because she’s so interested in what’s being taught and I don’t blame her, right now they’re studying the connections between all living things and it’s super cool.
The sad truth is that I’ve been filling my time with worry, crying, what if scenarios when I really should be spending it touching ALL THE WATERFALLS, continuing to explore this amazing place, and hanging out with my lovely friends. Is this Seasonal Affective Disorder because I’m not used to the rain or the grey days yet? I hope not, but I did get a Happy Lamp (it’s on right beside me as I type now) and we’re all taking extra Vitamin D, including adding lots of fresh spinach to our smoothies in the morning just in case.
I find myself comparing Edmonton to the Comox Valley a lot and that’s been weighing on me. In Edmonton, I had help with the girls every second weekend and could get away and travel. Now, I’m on day 100 of solo parenting with no end in sight. This isn’t me complaining as it’s much better for all of us for so many reasons, it’s me realizing that I need to ask for a little bit more support from my friends, babysitters, and other single parents here and get some time for myself. I need to get out and have a night out every now and then. I need to do things that bring Super Fun Happy Jen out because I miss her. I miss her so much. I also miss my ginger chai with almond milk (extra ginger, please) and butter chicken from Remedy Cafe, but that’s another story.
So, this is my written commitment to myself (and all of you) to bring the fun back into my life. I’m in the right place. I’m so very loved. I’m so very supported. And for the first time in 41 years, I’m truly safe. I worked so damn hard to get to this point and it’s time to enjoy it, rain or not. Besides, a happy mama brightens her happy family.
Bravely Seeking Fun Forward
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