I can’t remember the exact moment when my sparkle became duller and I lost some of the joy in my life. It’s like I’m going through this constant, giant To Do list in my head. I’ve become the girl focused so hard on the details that I can’t see anything before me. It feels like the storm I was driving through from Courtenay to Qualicum Beach earlier this week. The fog and snow were preventing me from seeing up the road. I focused on the small piece of road in front of me, the lines of the road, and Beyonce on the speakers. I had to trust that the fog and snow would clear and that I’d find my turn off. I had to trust that I would be kept safe. Just go slow, pay attention, and know it’ll all be okay.
I got to Qualicum safely, drank coffee and ate a wonderful breakfast and then went for a walk along the ocean. It was cold as hell, but I felt so damn happy. Just me, the birds, big flakes of snow, and the rhythm of the waves beside me. I’m sure the people who encountered me on my walk thought I was crazy. Even with the cold, wet snow hitting my face and my mascara running, I was smiling from ear to ear. A smile of pure happiness.
As my stress, pain, and grief was being released with the waves, I felt joy being reignited. It reminded me that my laser-focused attention to our upcoming move was only fulfilling one piece of my being and that I really needed to make an effort to bring more joy into all aspects of my life.
In an effort to acknowledge this, my lovely friend Jody and I decided to create a list of things that bring us joy and to be accountable for increasing our sparkle and stop causing our own snow storms.
My Joy List
- Smiles that light up my daughter’s faces
- My amazing friends
- Warm cups of coffee and tea
- Writing that just flows
- Live music and outdoor festivals
- Telling stories
- The wisdom that comes from observing nature
- Laughing so hard I snort
- Crystals everywhere
- Athena’s soft puppy ears
- Pulling my strength into bravery
- Connecting to Spirit
- Kitchen dance parties with the littles
- Being held so tight our heartbeats match up
- Seeing magic all around me
- The beauty of untouched snow
- Sun on my face
- The feeling of being loved unconditionally
- The perfect song coming on at the perfect time
- Making people laugh
- Watching people succeed
- Connecting with people on a soul level
- Lavender everything
- Say Yes! days and vacations.
- Art that causes me to pause, smile, and cry
- Food that feels like love through my body
- Salt water on my body
- A glass of wine after a long day
- Celebrating everything – big and small
- “ME TOO!” moments
- Knowing I helped someone heal or see their lives differently
- Playing vinyl really, really loud
- Releasing and manifesting with the moon phases
- Car singing and dancing
- Being silly just because
- The excitement of seeing things come together
- Faerie lights
- Cold rooms and warm duvets
- Seeing the world as grey. Knowing that anything can happen when I’m not focused on absolutes.
- The smell, sound, and warmth from wood burning.
- Seeing things that others miss
- Being open to wonderful things
- Knowing that my tribe always has by back
- Knowing that I can do anything
I’m sure I could go on forever but this is a pretty good list to start off with. I’m currently working on a few on my list including celebrating each time I check something off of my To Do list and to appreciate how far I’ve come. I’m also working on slowing down a little. I’ve been going too fast for too long. I need to rest, reconnect, and enjoy the silence (one of my favourite Depeche Mode songs) before the physical part of my move starts.
Bravely Smiling Forward
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